The Great Race--"I Hate You"

Memorable quotes for The Great Race (1965)
[On a melting iceberg]
Max: We gotta do something.
Professor Fate: Oh, don't worry. Before this iceberg melts and we drown like rats, we're going to do plenty.
Max: Yeah? What?
Professor Fate: We're gonna starve!

[On a melting iceberg]
Leslie: You better keep it to yourself.
Fate: Oh, of course I'll keep it to myself.
[to himself]
Fate: Until the water reaches my lower lip, and then I'm going to mention it to *somebody*!

Max: Red sky. Gonna be a storm.
Professor Fate: What are you babbling about?
Max: Red sky in the morning, sailor take warning.
Professor Fate: Why, you simple-headed gherkin, do you know the chances of a storm in this part of the world at this time of the year?
Max: No, what?
Professor Fate: Hundred to one.
[a great thunderclap; it begins to pour rain]
Max: Red sky in the morning, sailor take warning!
Professor Fate: Why you idiot!

Prince Hapnick: You! You're the cause of it all! It was your idea!
General: No, no your highness... Baron von Schtupp
Prince Hapnik: I don't care, I don't care! You're banished. I'm getting a new tucker-inner! Banished, banished, banished!

The Baron: He who fights and runs away lives to fight another day. So, until another day, Mr. Leslie.

Max: Rise and shine, Professor.
Professor Fate: Rise and shine?! Rise and shine?!! When you rise! You shine!

[repeated line]
Professor Fate: Push the button, Max!

Maggie DuBois: You mean amazing because I'm a woman.

[on the iceberg]
Fate: You're wasting your time!
Leslie: Perhaps.
Fate: We're melting!
Leslie: Slowly.
Max: We're gonna sink!
Leslie: Eventually.
Fate: Then you're wasting your time!

Prince Hapnik: Course there is one good thing, when one was young, one could play along the corridors. I used to ride my pony up and down this corridor when I was young, then I grew up, got drunk, and fell off!

[gets hit in the face with a pie]
Prince Hapnick: [tastes pie] umm... brandy! Throw more brandy, throw brandy! More brandy! Brandy!
[gets hit again with a pie]
Prince Hapnick: umm... rum! I never mix my pies!

Cowboy: He's lucky Texas Jack ain't around... he'd gun that dude for sure!
Professor Fate: Pardon me, Mr. Pahd-nuh, who is this Texas Jack?
Cowboy: WHO'S TEXAS JACK?
Professor Fate: Who?
Cowboy: The roughest, toughest gunslinger in these parts... Lilly's his girl!
Professor Fate: Whoo, hoo, hoo... Lilly's his girl.
Max: Terrific...

Baron von Stuppe: Well, Mr. Leslie. I had expected to see you again, but... eh... Not with a sword in your hand. Are you partial to the foil?
Leslie: Not particularly. It happened to be convenient.
Baron von Stuppe: I presume you know how to use one.
Leslie: I hope that won't be necessary.
Baron von Stuppe: I'm sure you do.
Leslie: Will you release Ms. Dubois and the others?
Baron von Stuppe: No...
Leslie: I'm afraid this will be necessary.
Baron von Stuppe: You're being very foolish, Mr. Leslie.
Leslie: That's an assumption, Baron. You make me the victim even before we start!
Baron von Stuppe: [shrugs] It's your life...
Leslie: [gestures with sword] You're assuming again.

Professor Fate: Leslie escaped?
General: With a small friar.
Professor Fate: Leslie escaped with a chicken?

Leslie: Are you a native of Burracho?
Lily Olay: I ain't no native, I was born here!

Leslie: Minutes have made the difference in survival, Miss DuBois.

Professor Fate: The eternal struggle takes time, Max.

[repeated line]
Professor Fate: [shouts] Maaaax!

Fate: I am professor Fate!

Professor Fate: I'd like to see the great Leslie try that!